Why Three Weeks Is the Missing Rung in Growing Up
Growing up happens in sets of three.
Three minutes. The first time you set your baby down in the crib and walk out of the room, just long enough to grab a shower, if you’re lucky. Three hours. The first evening out with a sitter, or the first drop-off at daycare. Three days. A long weekend at grandma’s or with the cousins. Three weeks. Hold that one for a second. Three months. The first semester of college. You drop them off in September and they’re home in December. Three years. First job, first apartment, figuring out how the world works. Three decades. A life of their own, and maybe a family too.
The math is a little fuzzy (nobody’s timing this with a stopwatch), but every parent we know nods along to each rung. A fellow camp director first walked us through this ladder, and it has stuck with us ever since.
What is the missing rung in a child’s independence?
Most of that ladder shows up whether we plan for it or not. Life hands it to you. Three weeks is different. Somebody has to choose it. For a lot of kids, nobody does. Somewhere between eight and eighteen, the longest most spend away from home is a long weekend at a relative’s house or a mini-vacation with a friend. Then one September, it’s a dorm room for three months.
That’s a big jump, for them and for us as parents.
Three weeks is the rung in between. It’s long enough to miss home and get past it, and long enough to figure out a whole new place with people you met on the first day. Kids who have climbed it walk into their first semester, and into life, having already done a smaller version of it.
What does three weeks at sleepaway camp actually do?
We’ve watched this happen on our Lake George peninsula for many summers. The first couple of days are a mix of excitement and nerves. It takes a little time just to settle in, get used to bugle-time, and figure out where everything is. (If your child is worried about those first days, our post on homesickness at sleepaway camp is a good place to start.)
Then something shifts, and kids start running things themselves. At Adirondack Camp, campers check their schedules and get themselves to their activities, to archery, for example, with close-toed shoes and usually a water bottle. They live in a cabin with kids from across the country and around the world, and they take their turn on the cabin job wheel.
You need at least three weeks to really see greater personal responsibility and independence take hold. Most kids who stay three weeks or more come back the next summer.
How long should a child stay at sleepaway camp?
Families ask us for one-week sessions every year, and they would probably be easier to fill. We keep a two-week minimum anyway, because of what extra time does for kids in a supportive community where they get to be independent. For most children, we think three or four weeks is the sweet spot.
A parent’s view of the three-week rung
We’ve lived this as parents, too. My son started at ADK at nine. The first few days were tough, and two weeks was enough his first summer. The next summer he came back for four weeks, and he was ready. My daughter was seven when she came for two weeks. As the session came to a close, she asked if she could stay two weeks longer. I was the one who left in tears! The following summer? The full summer.
They each climbed that rung at camp, one summer at a time.
Ready to give your child the three-week rung?
One day it’s three months and a dorm room. The next is three years and life on their own. Finding those three weeks in between is the real trick, and we have it here every summer.
Explore our dates and rates to plan your child’s summer, or learn why families choose ADK.
